Missing You

Sometimes I feel like giving up and run away somewhere with Sid. But running away is not an option for me the thing is I really love my younger brothers and I don’t want to impose punishment of my doings on them.
Now all I have to do is wait and wait…
I know it’s really difficult for Sid to stay away from me but I can’t turn my back from my family.
Last time when I talked to my father about Sid and mine’s future he kind of gave me panic attack by telling “NO”. Falling in Love is the best thing happened to me in this lifetime and I will never leave you lone but for now I have to fight this war with my parents alone.
The thing is Sid and me are from different caste, hence if my parents agree for our marriage it will create great difficulty in marriage (or maybe no marriage ) for my brothers. To solve this problem I talked to Sid and he said he will change his caste by becoming adopted son (in name only) of someone from my caste but my great father is not listening to me. He wants me to forget Sid and marry someone else, they says that they will find great husband for me and as a last resort I threatened my parents that i will commit suicide if they makes me marry someone else and maybe I will commit suicide in reality if that happens because I love Sid alot and it’s impossible for me to imagine my life without him, I don’t know why my parents can’t see this fact.
I am also teaching my brother so that he can get great job which may increase his chances of getting married if I do something reckless.
Sometimes I really feel lonely, due to my father I am not allowed to talk Sid anytime I want, I calls him whenever no ones is around.I miss everything about him and everytime when I think about us it makes me cry. Now days I am crying alot otherwise I will become mad by the depression I am going through. My pillow is only companion I have whenever I cries before sleeping in night.
Everyone thinks that I am happy cause I smiles alot in front of other but I am really hiding my wounds from other eyes. .

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