Feeling Lost

Before meeting Sid, I had lot of plans related to my future… I wanted to become lot of things, I wanted to become famous, wanted to do lot of things… but now everything seems meaningless.
I was sitting in train crying … returning home after graduating but now it doesn’t even feels like home….
Now I regret lot of things.. I wise to go back in time and spend more time talking or loving Sid rather than fighting him over silly matters.
I miss him like hell… my father says that people comes and goes it’s nature of life but what he doesn’t understand is “Sid is not any other person in my life , I love him” .. He says that I made choice of loving Sid and I should suffer consequence(pain of separation) due to my decision.
In India we have caste system( Caste: different group of people who were divided according to there work in ancient time and generally people marry with other person from same group.. Now it’s kind of mandatory ) … well me and Sid don’t belong to same caste but I don’t have any problem with that nor Sid’s parent … but my father says if Heagrees to mine and Sid’s marriage than people from my caste will banish my family and it can cause difficulty in my brothers marriage.
To be frank I don’t want to get married right now but I do want to have future with Sid.
How I wish that things were simple…
I don’t know what to do … I don’t want my brothers to suffer because of my love but I don’t want to leave Sid also….

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