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Missing You

Sometimes I feel like giving up and run away somewhere with Sid. But running away is not an option for me the thing is I really love my younger brothers and I don’t want to impose punishment of my doings on them.
Now all I have to do is wait and wait…
I know it’s really difficult for Sid to stay away from me but I can’t turn my back from my family.
Last time when I talked to my father about Sid and mine’s future he kind of gave me panic attack by telling “NO”. Falling in Love is the best thing happened to me in this lifetime and I will never leave you lone but for now I have to fight this war with my parents alone.
The thing is Sid and me are from different caste, hence if my parents agree for our marriage it will create great difficulty in marriage (or maybe no marriage ) for my brothers. To solve this problem I talked to Sid and he said he will change his caste by becoming adopted son (in name only) of someone from my caste but my great father is not listening to me. He wants me to forget Sid and marry someone else, they says that they will find great husband for me and as a last resort I threatened my parents that i will commit suicide if they makes me marry someone else and maybe I will commit suicide in reality if that happens because I love Sid alot and it’s impossible for me to imagine my life without him, I don’t know why my parents can’t see this fact.
I am also teaching my brother so that he can get great job which may increase his chances of getting married if I do something reckless.
Sometimes I really feel lonely, due to my father I am not allowed to talk Sid anytime I want, I calls him whenever no ones is around.I miss everything about him and everytime when I think about us it makes me cry. Now days I am crying alot otherwise I will become mad by the depression I am going through. My pillow is only companion I have whenever I cries before sleeping in night.
Everyone thinks that I am happy cause I smiles alot in front of other but I am really hiding my wounds from other eyes. .

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Sin

When I was in 2nd year of my college one of my junior told me about the site called wattpad. I am a book addict… and till now I have read hundreds of book but due to my behavior or i don’t know why but some of my classmates used to think that i am not a book reading type of person… sometimes i feel anger because of their judgement.

Well I somehow told my mother clearly that i will marry sid and only sid and if they tries to marry me off to some other guy then i will run away…

I know this is harsh but love is something which can make you do all short of things…

I really want to grow old with sid.

 Right now I am attending a coaching institute in order to prepare better for job  exams and there i  made some new friends. I don’t know why but i always  end up in group of three friends. Here also i  meet sonia and seema. Sonia is  30 year old married woman. Sonia married her boyfriend anukur who  was  older brother of her friend.

 They were happily married for last 6 years but due to anukur’s mother they  staying separate now. Anukur’s mother wants some grandchildren in her  house but due to some complication it is difficult for sonia to get pregnant hence anukur’s mother is trying everything in her power to separate these two but the most shocking thing is that anukur doesn’t have backbone to stop his mother from making sonia miserable.

Guess what I think sonia loved wrong person.

My second friend seema is very innocent girl who remainds me of myself when i was in my teenage. She have two older brothers and wants to go somewhere away from family because somehow they are suffocating her with there extra love. She want freedom. Apart from this it’s been 1 month since i have seen sid face to face I am missing him alot. We talk daily on skype or phone but I miss holding his hand , kissing is lips and everything… sometimes when my parents make me feel miserable about sid (according to them I have done some sin by falling in love with sid ) I miss his comforting hug and things he always do to make me smile again…

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