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depression

registerwhen i was a child life was so simple … only two type of person was there in my small world good and bad … that time i was unaware about the presence of shade grey …
well i went to a shop to return some things i purchased from there yesterday and well that guy behave so rudely that i came out of that shop with tears in my eyes … that time i wished that some knight in armer comes and punch this evil guy in front of me …but welcome to reality … there are no fairy tales here … only you can save yourself from this misery …. only you have to complete your fight …
it was not the loss of money that hurt me ,you can always earn money …it was the crying_school_girl_photo_sculpture-r1a3dd6a7df114ac59d37281832fb9a3e_x7saw_8byvr_512feeling of being alone … he was bad guy he didn’t had the sense of talking … i really want to cry all over again about the things he told me …how can someone behave so rudely when all i was doing is talking politely to him … i never wished anyone bad in my life and i really can’t wish bad for this guy cause he do have a family and if something bad happens to him or his shop will only cost to his family
maybe i was wrong … maybe i should have listened to him …. maybe…
sometimes it feels like only thing i am giving to people around me is burden… maybe i am not fit for this world … i don’t want to do anything … getting awkward type of sad thoughts ….

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Assignment

imageToday I was supposed to summit one assignment for most boring subject in world … Although subject is boring but teacher is interesting 😉
Well this teacher came to my college two years ago … At that time ( now also ) he looked like a phd guy and for few days I was confused and believe me that time he was enjoying our confusion because some times my classmates especially me make fun of teachers when we are alone in classroom … He is a very good person , excellent player in almost every sport and did have lot of knowledge about his subject…. According to me he have fittest body in my college ( he is not bulky … But I don’t know he looks solid to me ) . I respect him a lot … He is like big brother to me … Awkward me … Turing teacher into brother ….:-p
imageSid also have good body and when he is not walking with me …. Means when he goes to some store and I wait for him nearby …. I really love to ogle his body …. And I must say he does have very good backside … 😉 and yes he do have muscles
He have very broad shoulder and I don’t know … I love everything about him … Starting from his pentagon shape nose to fatty stomach …
I don’t want to exchange him with anyone … In my dreams also he is the only one I want … Is I am Turing insane …. ?.

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Anger issues

Right now i am very angry with Sid ….
imagewell i liked this forex trading thing alot and i like to take my decisions in trading via analyzing the data points of previous day , it was very exciting … also i usually don’t like to take too much risk … i believe that from drops you can make a sea although it will take time ,on the other hand sid is kind of addicted to take risks …
in forex trading i always buy/sell things with very small amount of money so that if my deal goes wrong i should be able to bear the loss.
sid trade in wrong thing … it’s ok .. everyone to mistakes but why he did these mistake in large quantity and repeats it again and again …he never listen to me …
now my interest in this trading thing is gone … i kind of spent hell of time in studying things related to forex but now i think that was wastage of my time and i really don’t want to do anything related to these trading and website developing things …
it’s just too much stress for my brain .
.

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busy days…

i was busy in last days doing Forex trading, learning new things and all … i have to summit project report in 2 weeks and have to study a lot because my exams are coming .
1 scalesduring holi i send some of my “holi pics.” to my brother and after seeing all my photos my father and my brother both come at the conclusion that i am getting thin… so they were planning to make me fat when i will come home during summer holidays and my cute brother leaked these information to me 🙂
i am not very thin and put lot of efforts in order to stay in non-fatty state . somehow all girls except some in my class manged to become fat after coming here and all of us smartly put blame on our mess food :-p … well i used to eat lot of butter at my home and i don’t why but somehow my body manged to stay in slim shape whenever i go to home …in college this is different story… i usually don’t gain lot of weight but i am not skinny type of girl. village01
my father was telling me that we are growing some of my favorite fruits and vegetables in our farm in village and all things will be ready during my stay at home 🙂
we are going to give farewell to our seniors so tomorrow my whole batch is meeting to make this event grand …
Sid is getting worried because till now i haven’t use his name in this post :-p.

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0

forex trading

1511318_615957141774694_339917545_nwas trading with real money in my “real account” …was too tensed , it was really easy to do trading in demo account because there i was not loosing anything but things are getting real here .
well learned some web-designing from sid and i think it’s cool stuff .
according to sid nowadays girls are tending to be attracted toward “computer” guys … i admit that “brainy is new sexy”.
talk to my father today he was telling me that i was looking too thin in photos which i send him on watsapp and my brother was telling me that he and papa are making strategies to make me fat during summer holidays …hmm.. but i kinda did lot of physical exercises in order to become slim 🙂.

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3

Afford and risk

Sometimes I run
Sometimes I hide
But all I really need is time
Oh… I need time
5bikipdeyeumotconangbangtuoi-790a6Well these lines are really describing my situation right now … Right now I really need some time … More specifically break from my relationship with Sid … Well you can say that I am a cold hearted person because girls are dying to have boyfriend like him I on the other hand running away from him… I really love his ‘friend’ part … That time he didn’t cared about my matter … I was not the one hurting him … I love him too much but sometimes my angry issues got worst out of me ,I really don’t like to hurt him when I know there is a girl named Alisha who loves him more than me and she can’t hurt him…
When I was small child I never had things you called luxury… For example my parents never bought me toys during childhood … I already mentioned that I am from middle class family so my parents need money to buy books for me instead of toys …so I used to make dolls forms cloths to play ,for this purpose I required cloths which are in too bad conditions to wear and you know frequency of that is very low… So I was too attached to my dolls due unavailability of toys to play …
For these kind of small reasons I am kind of too attached to my things … I really can’t afford to lose them ( for financial as well as sentimental value ) …
Me and Sid are very different …, these difference are making things difficulties for us … He likes to take risk and I know he can afford them but I can’t take risk I can’t afford them …for example I brought my laptop three years ago that time it cost me k13378192around 40,000 INR … This much money was huge for my family and I know how my parents arranged that money … They kind of sacrificed there whole life for the wellfare of me and my brothers. They never thought about there requirements but requirements of there children is there top priority … I am really lucky to have parents like them …
So due to all these reasons I am very attached to my laptop ….
Now my laptop is not working so I was thinking to go laptop repairing shop for repairing … Sid know lots of things about computer and he claims that he can repair my laptop but I wanted it to done by some professional because people are experts in this field they know how to do things … I know from YouTube videos you can learn things but you can’t do better than expert person … Well he is not listening to me … According to him if something goes wrong he will purchase me new laptop … But I don’t want new laptop I love one I had … He is not understanding that I don’t want to take risks….

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0

Trading

Today I woke up at 4:00 a.m … Not for quiz , not for project work …. But to do trading !!! I am loving this trading business .. Somehow I am not getting tired Or bored from this …:-)
Today I did forex trading in my demo account and I earn appro. Profit of 400 euros which is really very huge amount for me .
CartoonGirlThrowingMoney-287x300By trading from this demo account I learn lot of things like at which time it is beneficial to buy or sell certain currency … I am planning to add certain other variables in my equation for that I have to complete whole book I started earlier …
But most important thing for trading is steady internet … Well I kind of got 10 euro less profit due to my internet connection 🙁 …
It will take around one week for my live account in trading .. I loving this thing a lot … Sid is ready to lend me 20,000 euro for my live account , he believes in me a lot but I don’t know that I am that much good in reality as he believes… Well sid’s confidence matters a lot to me …but what if he is wrong then we will loose lot of money … Well I am planning to do trading via demo account for at least 2 weeks to become good …
Got lot of assignments to do … But how I supposed to study when I found out the thing I love ….images
Me and Sid went for shopping for his import-export business … It was really fun I was able to purchase all the dress I liked irrespective of their size, rate and all … Actually I love the idea of shopping but I don’t like to wear new cloths … I love old one….
So previously whenever I went for shopping I was feeling guilty because of my love for my already existing cloths…. In this business I am doing all the shopping I want without any loss… So this was guilt free shopping 🙂.

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